What is Internal Family Systems?
IFS starts from a simple idea: your mind is not one single voice. You probably know this already. Part of you wants to speak up, while another part stays quiet to keep things safe. Part of you pushes for more, while another part is exhausted. In IFS, we treat these parts as meaningful rather than as problems to delete. Each one developed for a reason, often to protect you.
Instead of arguing with a harsh inner critic or trying to outrun anxiety, we get curious about it. What is it afraid would happen if it stopped? What is it trying to do for you? When parts feel genuinely heard, they often soften on their own. Beneath them, IFS holds that everyone has a core Self — a steadier, more compassionate presence — and therapy helps you spend more time living from that place.
What IFS can help with
Because IFS works with the whole inner system, it can support many of the concerns that bring people to therapy: anxiety and depression, complex PTSD and childhood trauma, burnout and perfectionism, eating and body image concerns, relationship patterns, and the lingering effects of growing up between cultures. It pairs naturally with relational and attachment work, which I weave in throughout.
IFS is especially helpful if you have tried insight-oriented therapy before and understood your patterns intellectually, yet still feel stuck. Knowing why you react a certain way is different from feeling differently. IFS works with experience, not just explanation — we slow down and actually listen to the parts of you that carry fear, shame, anger, or grief, at a pace that respects your consent.
What a session looks like
There is no script and nothing you need to perform. A session might begin with whatever is most present that day — a conflict at work, a wave of self-criticism, a numbness you cannot explain. From there, I may invite you to notice where that feeling lives in your body and what it might say if it could speak. You stay in charge throughout; we never push into material you are not ready for.
Over time, many people notice practical shifts: less war with themselves, more room between a trigger and a reaction, and a kinder inner voice that does not have to be forced. IFS is not about becoming a different person. It is about all of you finally being on the same side.
Online IFS therapy in California and Virginia
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist — California LMFT #164737 and Virginia LMFT #0717002793 — offering secure video sessions to adults located anywhere in California or Virginia. Whether you are in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Diego, Richmond, Arlington, or a smaller town where an IFS therapist is hard to find locally, online sessions make it possible to do this work from a private, familiar space of your own.
If you are curious whether IFS is a good fit for you, a free 15-minute consultation is an easy place to start. You can message me through my Psychology Today profile to arrange it. We can talk about what you are hoping for, and you can get a feel for how I work before committing to anything.
Every part of you is welcome here — even the ones you have been at war with.